Constructed Knowing

A characteristic of being in the position of constructed knowledge involves the concept of layering of experience. I envision each moment of experience as a fine spray of finish being applied to high quality furniture. It takes patience and good working conditions for the finish coats to be applied evenly and flawlessly, but our life experiences do not provide those working conditions very often, so the construction of our psyches is rarely a flawless process, and thus we are all flawed in our knowledge and being. Awareness seem to be key to overcoming the flaws. Somehow, as we mature, we become aware of where we are in our development and how we are going to work, or think, or feel our way out of one situation and prepare for the next. We are creatures of our own experience and each of us is unique in our development.




The relationship section of the book, speaks to families, and how our positions of knowledge come from and set the stage for our relationships, which mirror our own knowledge. We are formed beings, created, by each event that touches us, and by each person that touches us. As I read and live each day, I gain more awareness of the shaping and layering that shapes me, each and every moment. I wish that I could find solace in that awareness, and turn my moments into adventures of growth. Some days are easier than others.



We had a storm here yesterday and trees were shattered and mighty boughs were brought down. It reminded me of how something growing and strong can be broken by the power of a stormy moment, and others end up as survivors. The cleanup was costly. Time and effort was spent. Effort was wasted and was the source of strife and distress. As the day was spent with chain saws and debris, I kept thinking of how we move through these positions of knowing. We evolve and progress or devolve and collapse with the malleability of a dynamic creature. We are always under construction. It makes me wonder if we can ever know ourselves. Do we change so fast that we can never fully understand ourselves?
 

Under Construction

I cry a lot when I read this book.  I tend to do that... being an emotional "typical woman."  (said with a hint of sarcasm and irony)

My copy of this text is becoming very messy with highlighting and sticky notes as I see truth after truth written in black and white.  Despite having the assignment of blogging in a scholarly tone, I have a great deal of difficulty stepping back to be objective about this work.  It is like reading an autobiography and a biography of my friends simultaneously.  I can see the life positions of so many women that I know in this writing and I  hurt with the growing pains that we have all endured. 

The constructivist position is where I am in my life.  Knowledge is accumulated and layered in fine sheets of experience, woven with filliments that can barely be perceived, yet it forms the fabric of my life.  Examining the context of life is where the truth can be found, and each of us has our own perspective and context.  There are general trends, but as we peer closely, each word, interaction, success or failure determines if we have learned and grown from the experience.  Yet, if we still live and breathe, then of course, we have learned and evolved and added to our weaving and life. 

I visited with a wonderful therapist for many months in order to gain a perspective on the connections in my own experience... what part my family played, and my friends, my past, my present, my own head and heart and mind.  I was so lost in trying to pull it all together, that I felt myself coming apart.

My ex-husband was a man who talked and talked and never listened.  As mentioned in this writing, I was a woman who had no voice.  I even said that to my counselor.  "He does not hear me, " I said to her once. 

On page 137 there is a comment that I liked.  "All knowledge is constructed, and the knower is an intimate part of the known" (emphasis in the original).

Later the authors write, "Somebody can be an expert, but if they do not articulate what they've learned, then that  renders their knowledge usless if they can't share it with other people" (p. 145). 

And, good readers, that is where I am stuck, for to me the awarenesses and experiences in my life are so intertwined with my innermost self, I can hardly bring myself to reveal this intimacy in a general fashion.  That sums up my blogging mental block!

I hold this material so closely to my soul, and that makes it very difficult to step back in an objective manner and write about it.  My mental awareness of this truth is so completely entwined with the emotional and physical experiences of my life, that my own voice is challenged to speak freely.

Ah, me... I am a constructed woman.  This Master's degree program is part of my journey to share that construction with those of you that I journey along with.  I will have to work on putting words to my knowledge.

Progressing through the positions

In my further reading, I am captivated by the further outlines of the positions of knowledge. 
From each postion, a woman formulates her vision of reality, her truths of what knowledge is and where it comes from, and her own role in forming her own reality.  The positions represent a perspective of Truth and a perspective on what authority provides that definiton.  Those are the concepts discussed for each position of knowing. 

The different postions of knowledge continue to evolve into Procedural knowledge and Constructed knowledge.  I need to think about these perspectives a bit before I discuss them (ah, reflection...) but I find the concepts to be a truthful playing of the experiences of my life, and I feel as if I ebb and flow back and forth through these roles and positions continually, though the progress is inexorably onward.. forward.

Independence Day

I love my book.

I wish that I could spend time with the women who authored this book.  Some times women come into the presence of other women and they know that they have entered a particular zone of comfort, and they know that is a lasting thing.  Or, at the very least, they WANT it to be a lasting thing. 

That is how it is with this book.  I feel these authors KNOW something that I know, too, and I feel a bond with them.  Of course, that is what the book is about.  The ways that women know.  The positions we hold in our knowledge of authority and truth. 

Their premise is of the movement or stablilty of a woman's progression through the different postions of knowledge.  This awareness of postion is explained using the metaphor of Voice.  Many women were interviewed for the study which these authors presented as this book and in the interviews, the subjects used the metaphors of vision and voice repeatedly, which is how the authors came to adopt their theme.

The silent woman is one who holds the postion that truth and knowledge comes from an outside authority, and that she has no voice in the matter.  She knows no truth other than what is presented to her and she is unaware of that concept.  She has no awareness that she has a Self.

The receptive knower comes to an awareness that knowledge can be transferred with words.  The voice bringing the knowledge comes from outside of her being.  Her awareness is dualistic.  The outside authority is right or wrong, black or white, up or down.  With this awareness, she begins to distinguish her voice apart from the outer authority.

The third major position is the subjective knower.  The woman in this postion distinguishes her inner voice from an outer authority.  The truth of her self concept and existence comes from an inner awarenes.

I love reading these thoughts of positions and awareness, truth and authority and the process of evolving as a woman.  With each word, I see myself, my friends and family.  I understand the words that reflect my own knowing and the experiences in my life, joyful and painful, both.  There seems to be a flow into the connected paths of our jouneys in life when personal experience is mirrored in the thoughts and words of others.

In that flow and connection to these words, the narrative of my own life is affirmed. 
If it were up to me, every woman that I know would read this book, yet I know that not every woman is ready to read this book.

Women's Ways of Knowing

The book Women's Ways of Knowing was mentioned in a former class, and the title immediately captured my eye, but I was too short of time to order it and read it, so I was delighted to find it as a recommended reading for this class, EDAE 692. 

I was a bit torn, however, as I was also intrigued by the title The Tao of Teaching, so I ordered that book, also.  I do that sort of thing...order books that are not assigned, and I keep them on my shelf, ready to read.  I always have a book going, sometimes two at a time, sometimes more. 

As to blogging... this is an interesting little project for me, and I am eager to learn (in a cautious sort of fashion) as I have learned the lesson that "once it is posted on the Internet, it is out there FOREVER!

Second Attempt

Welcome to AET 692!

Wow, Who knew this blogging would be so challenging?
Everybody does it....
Yet, for some reason, I am having a difficult time beginning.

This will be my practice post and I will work on editing!