These authors make the point that listening is a highly evolved human behavior. A true listener empowers the speaker by acknowledging their voice. It is a sign of respect. Listening transmits the message of equality from the listener to the speaker. It brings the speaker to the level of peer, which in a relationship, is a sign of connection. In a hierarchal situation, it brings the speaker up to the level of the person who holds some sort of power.
When we listen to our children, we are showing them that we respect their human dignity and their ability to grow, change, think and be an individual. We acknowledge their rightfulness in being human.
When we listen to our elders, we are also showing respect for their human dignity, life experience and the groundwork they endured to provide us a place and world in which to exist.
When we listen to our peers, we are showing respect for their own concepts and learning, pains and humaity. We acknowledge their very existence.
Listening to others and listening to our own inner voices is how we construct our knowledge, our being and our psyche. It is part of the reciprocity of connection that is so basic to being a human.
This observation about listening reminds me of Parker Palmer's Courage to Teach, where he wrote about the teacher providing a learning space for his students. He thought it was key to address his students, then give them a pause, a space, where they could reflect and form their own thoughts, and then feed those thoughts back to the class. He recommended that teachers have the courage to stay silent in the class, and allow the students to use their voices as they all listened.
I find that when my children wish to spend time with me, I have the opportunity to listen to them, question their thoughts and see them as individuals. Or.. I can become the authority, speak up, and stop their revelations in an instant. Listening is something that I must work on. I must use the voice that I have found for myself, and also be open to the voices of others.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Identity
I was most captivated by the thoughts of identity in this writing. The authors of this book took years to formulate their study and collaborative work, and I think that it would take years to truly digest the nuances of each thought presented here. But the concenpt of our identities being formed in different manners and then viewed from positions of comprehending authority is, to my mind, a brilliant viewpoint which can be applied to nearly every individual and relationship that I see in my own world.
The authors speak of the inherent development of the female as a reflection of the mother/daughter connection, and thus females tend to structure identity via connecction.
Male children must separate from their mother in order to form identity, thus they operate under the influence of autonomy.
As a result of this basic tendency, women tend to form their identity with connection, relationships, and responsibility. Their perspective of reality, truth and authority is deeply enmeshed with connection to themselves, the more powerful and the lesser empowered. The bonding and nurturing mechanism is inherent and often tends to be primary in the formation of the female psyche.
The basic tendency of the male identity formation has that element of autonomy and separation that comes from gender identity. Therefore the natural evolution of the male concept tends to be more individual, automonous and based on the rights of the individual. Empowerment and identity comes not through connection, but in a more hierarchal manner. Connections are made in a more singular fashion and with authority levels.
The positions written about in this book are discussions of the ways that woman and men tend to learn the truths of existence, and how they come to know that truth. What is our identity, our role, our spirit, our purpose, our needs, our understandings and how we apply that knowledge as we incorporate that information into our psyches and relationships.
This study was an explanation of the process of the evolution of the female psyche and illustrated the dynamic nature of human development. Not only do we move through different psychological postions as individuals and in relationships, but we also find a "voice" to project and share this knowledge and speak our own truths.
The stories are emotionally touching, insightful and enlightening. If there is only one thing that I can take from this reading, I would have to say that the individual is in a flow of development with many channels and obstacles in the stream. As humans, we do not cease to progress, move, flow ever onward, but we can be tumbled in rapids or swirled in wild eddys or caught in stagnant pools. This is a tale of our flowing, evolving and ever forming identities and discoveries of truth, reality and authority and how we learn to live and speak that discovered truth.
The authors speak of the inherent development of the female as a reflection of the mother/daughter connection, and thus females tend to structure identity via connecction.
Male children must separate from their mother in order to form identity, thus they operate under the influence of autonomy.
As a result of this basic tendency, women tend to form their identity with connection, relationships, and responsibility. Their perspective of reality, truth and authority is deeply enmeshed with connection to themselves, the more powerful and the lesser empowered. The bonding and nurturing mechanism is inherent and often tends to be primary in the formation of the female psyche.
The basic tendency of the male identity formation has that element of autonomy and separation that comes from gender identity. Therefore the natural evolution of the male concept tends to be more individual, automonous and based on the rights of the individual. Empowerment and identity comes not through connection, but in a more hierarchal manner. Connections are made in a more singular fashion and with authority levels.
The positions written about in this book are discussions of the ways that woman and men tend to learn the truths of existence, and how they come to know that truth. What is our identity, our role, our spirit, our purpose, our needs, our understandings and how we apply that knowledge as we incorporate that information into our psyches and relationships.
This study was an explanation of the process of the evolution of the female psyche and illustrated the dynamic nature of human development. Not only do we move through different psychological postions as individuals and in relationships, but we also find a "voice" to project and share this knowledge and speak our own truths.
The stories are emotionally touching, insightful and enlightening. If there is only one thing that I can take from this reading, I would have to say that the individual is in a flow of development with many channels and obstacles in the stream. As humans, we do not cease to progress, move, flow ever onward, but we can be tumbled in rapids or swirled in wild eddys or caught in stagnant pools. This is a tale of our flowing, evolving and ever forming identities and discoveries of truth, reality and authority and how we learn to live and speak that discovered truth.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Positions within a Context
The authors describe the positions that women assume in their Knowing.
How do they view the world?
What is their perspective as they take into consideration the source of authority and understanding?
How do women know what they know?
Who tells them what is right and wrong, what is true or false?
After describing the five positions of perspective, the authors move into placing a context around these perspectives of knowledge. The concept of family, parents and spouse is brought into the narrative.
Each postion is analyzed as to how it came to be established, maintained or left behind.
I have been in these positions. I know others that have been in these positions.
There is a tremendous amount of pain and confusion brought about by some of these circumstances.
With authority comes the Voice.
When a woman has no voice of her own, she has given the power of authority to an external force and in the context of the world, this often means a contolling or abusive family member, and it is simply not part of her perspective to object, change, stand up and speak for her self about right or wrong.
But the context often evolves, just as the woman evolves. Knowledge and wisdom can come, be gained and absorbed and synthesized into a woman's being.
At the higher position of knowledge and awareness, there is an understanding of the synthesis of emotion and intellect in the women, their parents and in their children.
What a painful process it is for some, and for others an accomplishment of joy and of a life's work.
How do they view the world?
What is their perspective as they take into consideration the source of authority and understanding?
How do women know what they know?
Who tells them what is right and wrong, what is true or false?
After describing the five positions of perspective, the authors move into placing a context around these perspectives of knowledge. The concept of family, parents and spouse is brought into the narrative.
Each postion is analyzed as to how it came to be established, maintained or left behind.
I have been in these positions. I know others that have been in these positions.
There is a tremendous amount of pain and confusion brought about by some of these circumstances.
With authority comes the Voice.
When a woman has no voice of her own, she has given the power of authority to an external force and in the context of the world, this often means a contolling or abusive family member, and it is simply not part of her perspective to object, change, stand up and speak for her self about right or wrong.
But the context often evolves, just as the woman evolves. Knowledge and wisdom can come, be gained and absorbed and synthesized into a woman's being.
At the higher position of knowledge and awareness, there is an understanding of the synthesis of emotion and intellect in the women, their parents and in their children.
What a painful process it is for some, and for others an accomplishment of joy and of a life's work.
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